(Posted 2024 July)
Most foster parents would say that it is a journey filled with many ups and downs, and no one can predict the length of the journey or the ways it will change you. For one couple, opening their hearts and home to a child through foster care has led to a lifetime commitment and expanded their family in ways they never imagined.
In May 2007, the Clements* were in a transitional phase of their lives. High school sweethearts who had been married a decade, Mr. Clement was transitioning from a career in social services to opening a private counseling practice. Mrs. Clement was changing careers from corporate finance to opening a home-based business. During these changes, the couple completed their foster care certification and soon thereafter they became foster parents to a 3-month-old baby girl named Morgan*.
An Infant Enters Care
Morgan was born prematurely at 34 weeks to a mother who had not received prenatal care. This vulnerable infant entered foster care for several reasons. There was a long history of mental health issues on the mother’s side of the family, and she refused any treatment. Once a dedicated wife, mother of two, and successful professional, health issues had sent Morgan’s biological mother into a downward spiral. Despite the initial involvement of Morgan’s maternal grandmother and aunt, there were no family members available to care for the baby who felt that they could provide a safe environment. Her father was not known at the time.
After three months in another foster home, Morgan was placed with the Clements. They cared for her nearly two years until March 2009 when her mother had completed court ordered services to be reunified with her. While Morgan’s father was identified in 2008 while she was in foster care, he was unable to meet the requirements to take custody. He subsequently passed away in 2012.
Redefining Family
After Morgan returned home to her mother, the Clements remained invested in her life. They continued to be some of her biggest cheerleaders and supporters while Morgan lived with her mother from the age of 3-13 years old.
Morgan resided with the Clements part-time and part-time with her birth mother from 2010 to 2020. The Clements had extended visits, went to school activities, celebrated birthdays, and registered Morgan for sports and other activities. They respected her mother’s role, and her mother welcomed their involvement in Morgan’s life.
In 2018, the Clements expanded their family. An 18-year-old youth who Mr. Clement had counseled while in a previous job, then continued to mentor for years, asked the couple to adopt him. They had a deep bond with him, and they were happy to fold him into their family.
Morgan grew up blessed to have so much family that loved her. She has always called the Clements “Mom” and “Dad.” They have been de facto parents, providers, and role models. They have instilled values and have incorporated Morgan into all their family traditions. Mrs. Clements comes from a large extended family and Morgan has always spent time with them and enjoys visiting with her cousins down South.
A Selfless Decision Creates Stability
This relationship became essential when Morgan’s birth mother’s health began to decline, and she needed to rely more and more on her support system to care for her daughter. Recognizing her worsening issues, in October 2019 Morgan’s mother made the difficult and selfless decision to seek a court order with the Clements for joint legal and physical custody of Morgan.
Sadly, Morgan’s birth mother passed away in December 2020 due to complications from COVID 19. Morgan has remained in the custody of the Clements since then. They cared for her throughout the grieving process and continued to love, support, and guide her as they have since she was an infant. They came back to the Department of Family Services to formalize their adoption of Morgan so that she has the legal assurance of a permanent family.
The Resource and Support Home Study Unit who assessed this family, made the observation that Morgan could have had a very different outcome if not for the efforts of the Clements family to Bridge the Gap with her biological relatives.
At age 16, Morgan has overcome obstacles no young person should have to face, but through the love and support of this wonderful family, she is a teenager who shows great compassion and understanding for others and a desire to do what is right. She continues to play sports, is a leader in student government, and likes to hang out with friends and family. She even has a relationship with her birth family including two older half-sisters from her mother’s previous marriage.
*Names changed to protect confidentiality.
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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